Looking back

Friday marks another year for me on the earth. I will be joining the thirty-something crowd as I place a one next to thirty. This birthday has made me think about so many things in my present life and the circumstances of the past that brought me to this moment. Oblige me as I take a stroll down memory lane; maybe you'll learn some new things about me on the way.

So many well meaning people ask me, "How is it that you are still single? Do you not want to be married? You must have a line of men calling on you." First off, GEESH! Why do people think it is OK to say such things to a single woman? Sorry, I almost went off on a wild goose chase. Any time a person asks of my single state in life, I'm reminded of a past relationship that was headed to marriage.

At the time, I couldn't see past marrying a particular man. My life revolved around him. UMMM...first red flag ladies. If your whole world revolves around a man, your priorities are totally off kilter. Putting a man at the center of everything you do is not going to bring joy or contentment. You will always be striving to please someone who will let you down, and repeatedly.

I didn't let go of that relationship easily. God for the most part had to pry it from my clinched fist. What relationship, either platonic or romantic, is worth it if you have to cling tightly, afraid of losing it if you loosen the grip? Believe me, my grip was very tight. And because of my tight grip, it hurt all the more when God was able to take it away. OH! The agony and depression I could have avoided if I had yielded my mind and heart to the Spirit from the start of that relationship. As God always is, He was so good to me in the healing process.

When I first graduated high school, I went to a Bible college in Missouri. My home church endorsed that school and my oldest brother went there too. I spent two years there before leaving to join Life Action Ministries. At the time I didn't realize I wasn't ready for college. I see it now. God knew I needed to be a part of that ministry. He did some amazing things in and through me during the three years I traveled. The college degree could wait, I needed to learn some things about life and God before finishing that area.

Of course, finishing college later brought challenges. The main issue I deal with is being my age and still trying to establish myself. Most people my age have a footing in this world, one I'm still striving for. I'll eventually get there.

I'm so blessed with a wonderful family! My mom and dad are examples of dedication, perseverance, dependability, and steadfastness. They will celebrate 41 years of marriage in November. How many couples today can boast of such a thing?! Not nearly enough.

I have two loving cats. I didn't grow up with pets in the house. Dad wouldn't allow pets to live inside and he didn't want to spend money on one. So, until recently I didn't have pets around. Now that I have two cats, I couldn't imagine life otherwise. Pets bring comfort when the day has been hard. They love you just because you are you. My cats can sense when I'm down and they snuggle up to me. They make me feel wanted and needed.

Have a rambled on long enough? I think so. I should be asleep by now.